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What does courtship mean in the Philippines? How is it different from just dating?


When a foreign man dates a Filipina he seldom realizes when the dating stops and the courtship begins. Traditionally, when a Filipina goes on a date, in Philippines, she will bring a chaperone and the date will be much more formal than in western culture. If the man likes the girl he will ask to court her. She will agree to ask her family and then give her reply. When she sees you again, it’s courting.

Courting a Filipina in today’s world.

You will still find some traditional girls in Philippines but they are less common each year. TV and Internet have given Filipina girls different fantasies of how ideal relationships should start. The rule of thumb these days is that the first date with a Filipina is just a date, but by the second date she will think you are courting her.

Some dates end up with the man giving a financial gift. Is it prostitution? The girls in Philippines do not like to think it is. Is it part of courting? When a man gives money to the girl or her family during a courtship, he is more like to be seen as piggy bank than a suitor. Often a man will give money after a date from a feeling of guilt because he does not want to continue with the courtship. When a man gives money it is unlikely the date will ever become a true courtship.

How is that different than dating?

A Filipina will allow herself to fall in love much faster than a Western girl. When a girl from Philippines dates a foreign man online she will usually tell him she loves him within the first half a dozen chats. She loves the ‘idea’ of courting a foreign man and she allows herself to believe in the fantasy of a long distance courtship.

Once the foreign man visits his Filipina date, she will try her best to be everything she believes a good wife should be. During that time she is carefully watching her foreign date for signs he is everything a good husband should be. This sometimes leads to a shock at the end of a series of dates. The foreign man thinks everything is going well and suddenly his Filipina date does not want to see him anymore. With every date you need to show her that you are husband material or the courtship will surely end prematurely.

Filipinas live for today, but if they cannot foresee a good future with you they will not be there tomorrow.